Using male body language

Playing hard to get can sometimes put you back in the driver’s seat with women. For example, you could display a carefree attitude by slouching lower in a seat, opening up your posture, and taking up more space than necessary to demonstrate dominance. This may excite certain women since you are displaying as a typical alpha male, but if you go overboard, it will turn women off. You can also tease by showing feigned disinterest in a woman by leaning or facing away. Showing your back or talking over a shoulder also raises your status. In effect, if she is interested she will compete for your attention and try to reopen your body posture. It creates interest in her because she is forced into chasing you instead of having you chase her, which can be a novel experience for an attractive woman. You can also offer up positive body language teasingly and sparingly to women based on earned comments and cues. For example, if a woman says something interesting you could open up and lean in, but instead of continuing with this gesture, lean back and away until she does something to entertain you once again. Therefore, you are using body language as a reward instead of falling into the trap most men do by giving women full on accepting body language even though they don’t completely deserve it. If she says something you like or agree with or flirts with you, then move in a little. If she says something negative then move or turn away from her. Opposite body language is a way to show a girl that you aren’t always interested in what she has to say and avoids all the pitfalls of appearing overly needy and interested.

A demonstration of well executed male body language:




Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9ZM2w31fc0

Note: This video was shot during the photoshoot for the E-book - Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language found at www.BodyLanguageProject.com and is quite natural. We cued Mark to use open male body language by leaning back. Without cuing Julie she took up the natural poster that she demonstrates in the video. That is, she leaned forward. Because they are having an open conversation, you can also note a natural object caress as she strokes the stem of her glass with her hand!

A poor Approach

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhAk3GDuj7E

The book explains this well so I’m just going to pull it straight from the text. Yeah I guess I’m a bit lazy today!

“It is normally perceived as a threat to approach a woman from her side or, if you are driving an automobile, her blind spot. Thus, avoid sitting or standing directly alongside a woman, especially one you don’t know very well. Women feel more comfortable if they are approached from the front because they can better assess the situation and are not taken by surprise. After this initial approach, and if the woman begins to relax, the man can then move to the side to continue the conversation. If, on the other hand, a woman chooses to approach a man, she might do so by approaching initially from the side or from behind, then continuing the conversation directly in front of him. The more she faces a man and matches his torso with her own, the more attraction she is feeling. A man will very normally perceive a woman who approaches directly from the front as a threat but will find this positioning tolerable after an initial approach. It’s easy to picture this in an employee-employer relationship. A female boss might move in directly to her male employee to better establish hierarchy.”

Excerpted from E-book – Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language found at www.BodyLanguageProject.com

Body Language and Proximity

Body Language and Proximity

We all at some point or another have taken for granted what a strong force proximity plays in our relationships until it is extended via distance. Anyone that has had to endure a long distance relationship knows how difficult it is to maintain. With infrequent contact these relationships become impossible. It would seem that distance is the primary factor in deciding who we’ll end up dating as it certainly determines who we’ll most often spend our time and also the likelihood in which we will meet. In attraction, and as it relates to body language and intimacy, proximity can tell us a lot. Intimate zones start at the 18 inches mark and closer. Women that tolerate this proximity from men are likely interested in either their friendship or something more. More casual distances are in the range of a few feet whereas complete strangers (social distance) will tolerate around 7-10 feet as a norm. Knowing all this, what should we make of the repulsion Dave induces on Scarlett in the following video? What does it tell us about her interest? What does it tell us about his approach?



Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uI007xkuqw

Her facial expressions lead us to believe that she is playing either hard to get or else she is teaching Dave some sort of lesson. Because she lacks eye contact with Dave, it is very likely that they know each other more then just acquaintances (as an unfriendly glare would be more appropriate if a stranger approached) and that perhaps Dave’s actions has set her off. Either way, this proximity makes it obvious that the connection between the two is weak and Dave needs to re-establish his position with her so he can re-gain her willingness to allow him to enter her intimate space once again.

For more information on body language be sure to check out: www.BodyLanguageProject.com and the E-book - The Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language.

The Room Encompassing Glance

Catching a girl in the act can be very exhilarating! Now, I’m not talking about getting caught in some sexual situation here, so get your mind back in the game! I’m talking about catching a girl demonstrating that she has the ‘hots’ for you. To the untrained eye, this might be overlooked as a neutral or non-existent body language but in reality the ‘room encompassing glance’ is very specific and a tell tale sign of interest. During our photosession for the E-book – Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language found at www.BodyLanguageProject.com we had our female model perform her interpretation of this glance.

Embed video:


Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmo9DB_zS0A

Description: “A woman might look across the room in an encompassing glance. She will do so simply to assess the situation. She does this by casting her eyes around the room for 5 to 10 seconds. If she spots someone she is interested in (hopefully you) she will take a second look. This second glance is directed toward a specific man. It will be short and she will rotate her head 25 to 40 degrees to the side then look away (usually downward) within about 3 seconds. Women usually continue this behavior until they meet their target’s eyes. At this point, the target and the woman will hold a mutual gaze lasting about 3 seconds.”

Excerpted from E-book – Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language found at www.BodyLanguageProject.com

Cops and Thugs

I was watching one of the stereotypical “Cops” shows the other day and noticed that it was a great way to examine body language. Particular body language that seems to be prominent is aggressive, defiant and authoritative language. I posted this clip (be warned strong language and content) because it is loaded with key information delivered non-verbally. The verbal language is prominent, yes, but if I was the officer I would focus my mind more on what sorts of gestures the suspect was imparting and adjust my tactics accordingly. In order, here is what I noticed followed with its hidden meaning: 1) Immediately going into an arm cross but catches himself and backs off – blocking off outside views 2) A jabbing motion with his arms and fingers – figurative spearing. 3) His right hand is in his pocket - hiding something or defensive, uncomfortable or protective 4) Arms crossed – closed and defensive 5) Fight – self explanatory. You can stop after the tussle because the rest is ruthless. I wonder if the cop was better able to read body language, if he could have avoided the fight altogether.

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Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQUrqLQfPME

For more information on dating and attraction, especially body language, check out my E-book - The Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language found at www.BodyLanguageProject.com

It’s all in the hair!

It’s all in the hair! Women with long hair have a very powerful tool that they can use in seduction. Hair that is soft and supple gives off indications of youth and virility, which men naturally find attractive. But the subtleties in which they indicate availabilities and sexual interest can sometimes be vague. Looking up through bangs can be seductive or perhaps even a hair toss. However, what does it mean if she continuously plays with her hair or passes it into her mouth? What about if she does it while looking away or down? What other cues need to be present in order for the cue to be of use to men? While I don’t want to come off as a complete tease (pun intended) I’m afraid that I’ll have to defer you to my E-book - The Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language found at www.BodyLanguageProject.com for more answers.




Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-Ic4V5vI10

Odds are you'll get a date

Have you ever wondered how much technique was involved in meeting and “pick-up” women versus how much was just a numbers game? Well, even before PUA and pick-up artist(ry) was cool, we ran our very own test. We trucked ourselves out to the local University and found an average looking guy who was willing to simply ‘run’ some numbers, so to speak. We wanted a guy to run a prefabricated line on girls and see if he could score a date. Our male subject was instructed to say something to the effect that he’d seen the girl around and found her attractive. He was then to ask for a phone number so he could set up a date at a later time. It’s a great article so I don’t want to spoil it all here, but the gist of it was that he scored on his 3rd attempt. For the full article visit www.TheBodyLanguageProject.com and check out the “Articles” section and look for “Odds are you’ll get a date”. For more information on dating and attraction, especially body language, check out my E-book - The Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language found at www.TheBodyLanguageProject.com.

Body Language as a tool for life.

Over the years, I’ve found out first hand how applicable and helpful reading body language can be. From job interviews to interviewing for jobs, to interacting with new or old friends, to playing Texas holdem, it is always handy. This of course is despite the fact that my primary research was on sexual body language which I could use to better understand women and dating. However, since I am (happily!) married I most often use body language when screening my tenants. I hardly ever rely on references anymore, even though I do push myself to make the call regardless. I have found that the basics of body language goes across situations. For example, I normally key in on reading into the tone of the voice, the use of defiant or authoritative body language and how often closed versus open body language is used, among all other aspects. Once you learn the basics of body language, it really does stick with you for your lifetime, which makes learning it early on so much more beneficial. For more information on body language be sure to check out: www.BodyLanguageProject.com and the E-book: The Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language.

Testing My Blog

Welcome to the Body Language Project Blog. Hopefully I am able to entertain some thoughts on Body Language and how it enters into my life and yours!